I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
