I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, Iād say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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