When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize