Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
