are you so shy because you have an std?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
