We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Come on in and take your pants off
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