I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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