That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
