I wish I could teleport
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
