he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
