i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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