In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
