just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
