Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
