I just made out with a guy for $7.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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