absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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