Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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