i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
