im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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