i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i barfeds in our rink
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
