Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
