ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
So squirting runs in the family.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
