I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
