You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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