just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Randomize
