I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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