SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
