what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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