also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
her vagine was all disorganized.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He felt like a one man threesome
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
