brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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