I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
