Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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