Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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