Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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