Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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