eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
pray to the hookup gods
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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