The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
