Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
