we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
