You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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