Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
His nipple licking is glorious
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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