Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
this beer tastes like vomit already
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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