Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
