Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize