Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
