Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
