Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
