Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
You can't special order awesome
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
