Whats the glycemic index on semen?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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