Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
