Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
