CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
