god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
