census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My feet surprised me
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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