Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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