I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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