I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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