and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
