It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
