Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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