I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
