I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
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What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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