If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
